Be With Me
by wisdomblackorchid2.0
Summary: The last time Steve saw Natasha was at the hangar, stopping T'Challa so he and Bucky could escape. That's been almost a year ago and it has been a struggle without her. He missed her terribly but he knew finding her under the circumstances would be difficult. Then finally, he received one of the calls he has been waiting for - Natasha. Romanogers/ CapWidow/ CapTasha
1. Chapter 1

A/N:I don't know how the upcoming Black Widow movie will tackle/ handle Natasha's reunion with Steve before Infinity War, so this is just my idea. Writing fanfic is kind of a mental and writing calisthenics for me so I just had to write this one down for my own peace of mind. Hope you like it!

******************************************************************************************************************************

It's been almost a year since Steve left Bucky in a cryotube in Wakanda. It's been almost a year of him, Sam, and Wanda playing hide and seek with Ross' men. It's been almost a year without Natasha by his side. And he had to admit it has been a struggle. Of course he didn't say it out loud nor act like it because he knew how much Sam and Wanda depended on him. But deep inside, Steve was grasping at straws.

He didn't know much about being a fugitive and the logistics that come with being one. All he knew was things would be much easier if it was just him but no, he had two other lives to take into account. Not that he didn't want Sam and Wanda around, but he had to remind himself that the two were in this situation because of him, because they chose to follow him and the least he could do was look after them now.

His emotional stress was so evident in his eyes. It could have easily taken a toll in his physical body but thanks to his serum, he didn't have to worry about that that much. So his eyes bore all of his internal struggle. They were dim and often staring at something far away. His mind wandered off to a lot of things that he started neglecting some of his usual routine like shaving every two days. He just woke up one day and suddenly felt what a task shaving was, so he stopped. When Wanda started to notice months ago how unkempt he looked, Steve simply made an excuse that a fully-grown facial hair was a handy disguise.

Aside from the logistics of everything, Steve's heart was also weighed down by his ruined relationships. He and Tony never met eye to eye with a lot of things but Steve still believed that at the heart of everything Tony does was the greater good. So he cannot truly despise the man even if he didn't agree with most of Tony's logic and methods.

Then there was Natasha.

He had to admit, Natasha's decision with the accords felt like a knife in his heart. But he cannot be angry at her, really, nor at anyone who stands up for what they think is right. It pained him to see her at the other side of the battle line but they both made their choice and they had to see through it. He didn't want to leave her at the hangar that day. He actually believed that if T'Challa didn't catch up with them, Natasha would have jumped in the jet with them. But Natasha put herself in the line for him and Bucky. She was his shield.

He sent Tony and Nat a phone each and while he didn't expect Tony to be calling him anytime soon, he thought Nat would take a little risk to check up on him especially after their prisonbreak at the raft. But no, nothing from her. No phone call, encrypted email, nor a coded message. And as the months passed, the more bothered and puzzled he became. He tried telling himself not to worry because she's at the compound anyway, continuing their work and just probably didn't want to take a risk now that she's working closely with Ross. Besides, he had Bucky to attend to. Two weeks ago, the princess called them back to Wakanda for the last test before they can declare Bucky one hundred percent free from his HYDRA programming.

Steve told Shuri that he wanted to be there for this because he didn't want anybody else getting hurt should they need to neutralize Bucky. So heart pounding and muscles tightening, Steve started to slowly recite the triggers words as best as he could while Bucky waited inside a containment pod made out of pure vibranium. Okoye and the king's guard surrounded them, Sam and Wanda stood ready by Steve's side, the latter's fingers steadily glowing red. Steve watched as Bucky readied himself too for whatever was coming. His Russian wasn't that bad so the words would still work if Shuri's work on Bucky's head was a bust. Good thing the princess was a genius, even more of a genius than Tony, if Steve was being honest, because after he uttered the last trigger word, he saw Bucky ease up, put a huge grin on his face, and two peace signs. Steve let out a huge sigh of relief. One less thing to worry about.

That night they celebrated their victory and Bucky's HYDRA liberation with a small dinner. Steve was truly happy for his bestfriend but he couldn't shake off Natasha his head. He badly needed to hear from her. He badly needed her. He brought out his phone and flipped it open. It only had two numbers and he scrolled to Natasha's name. His thumb hovered over the call button.

"Still nothing?" Sam asked with concern.

Steve snapped out his thoughts and saw everyone was looking at him, including T'Challa. He shook his head and said, "Probably just doesn't want to risk it."

"What is, Captain?" T'Challa asked.

Steve sighed and decided to share his burden with them. It was getting too much for him to bear anyway.

"I sent Nat a burner and I was hoping she would have called by now. But, still nothing. Maybe I should finally call her and see how's she's doing," Steve said, not bothering to mask the sadness in his voice.

"Where did you send the phone again?" Sam asked.

"At her apartment in DC," Steve said. "She drops there once or twice a month to keep her lease."

"Why there?" Bucky asked.

"I figured after what Natasha did at the airport, Ross would have her closely monitored especially at the compound, including her mail," Steve explained.

T'Challa walked over to Steve and breathed in before speaking. "I'm sorry, Captain, but there is a possibility that she didn't get it."

"What do you mean?" Steve asked the king.

"Before I followed you to Siberia, I told General Ross what Ms. Romanoff did," T'Challa said, apologetically.

"What does that mean?" Wanda asked.

"Ross most probably sent his men to arrest Ms. Romanoff," T'Challa said.

Wanda gasped and Sam placed a comforting hand on her shoulder. Steve's eyes fell on the floor.

"I'm truly sorry, Captain for not telling you about it sooner," T'Chall continued. "I wasn't sure what Ross did after our talk and when you came back from the raft without her, I figured she's alright."

"It's okay, your highness," Steve said.

"But she's not alright,"Sam interjected. "Because if she is, she should have gone to DC as per her routine then found the phone there."

"She probably just stayed at the compound, you know, avoid further suspicion," Wanda said.

Steve kept silent, avoiding eye contact with everyone.

"I can check if you want," T'Challa offered.

"Not if it would put your position with the Accords at risk," Steve said.

T'Challa shook his head and added, "If Ms. Romanoff is in danger because of what I did, it's the least I can do, Captain."

Steve nodded in thanks before excusing himself. But instead of retreating to his room in the palace, Steve went to the quinjet. He opened the radios and listened to every frequency there was. He figured that Natasha might have indeed tried to contact him after all but through underground channels. But his heart sank to hear nothing but static. Out of frustration, he threw his headphones to the floor.

"Stop," Bucky said.

Steve saw his friend enter the jet but kept staring at the radio.

"You're thinking of worst case scenarios right now. Don't do that," Bucky continued.

"I can't, Buck."

"You really care about her, don't you."

Steve looked at his right and straight at the weapons drawer with Nat's name on it. 'Romanoff', the letters spelled.

"I do," Steve admitted.

He has admitted that to himself a long time ago but had to keep it to himself because Natasha was dealing with a broken heart at that time and him confessing to her wouldn't do both of them any good. So he contented himself by simply being there for her. Banner vanished, Thor left Earth, Clint left active duty, and Tony stepped out of the game. But Nat stayed and for a while he couldn't ask for anything else. Until the accords happened.

Bucky grinned at him with pride. Steve couldn't help but smile back as his cheeks redden with Bucky's knowing, teasing look.

"I'm proud of you, pal," Bucky said and clapped him at the back. "But I think something's wrong with you 'cause you always fall for the tough ones, don't you."

Steve had to chuckle at that.

"Wait, what's with that kiss then? With the blonde?"

"Nothing," Steve said almost immediately. "Just something that was long over due. Nothing more."

Bucky smiled in understanding and said, "Romanoff's one hell of a fighter, Steve. I know that. I'm betting she's is okay. And if not, then, I know she's out there fighting to stay alive."

"I wish you're right, Buck."

Three days later T'Challa arrived from a meeting with Ross and confirmed Steve's fear.

"I'm afraid Ross sent his men immediately after my call," T'Challa reported. "They arrived at the compound while we were on our way to Siberia."

"Then she was at the raft, Steve!" Wanda yelled in panic. "She was there the whole time! We need to get her!"

"Calm down, Ms Maximoff," T'Challa said. "She was gone by the time Ross' men arrived at the compound. Stark tipped her off."

"That's why she couldn't get to her apartment, Steve," Sam surmised. "She knew that Ross had her known addresses staked out and couldn't risk it."

Sam and Wanda felt a little relieved.

"Yeah, which means," Steve said with a sigh then continued, "she's on the run too."

"At least now we know why she hasn't reached out," Bucky said. "It's not that she didn't want to, it's just flat out dangerous."

Steve tried finding comfort in what Bucky said but he couldn't. He knew Natasha's more than capable of taking care of herself but realizing that she's on her own like in her pre-SHIELD days made him feel guilty. He knew how much Natasha worked her ass off to leave that life but it seems like Steve himself pushed her back underground because of his choices. But as much as he wanted to find her, he didn't know where and how to begin. Besides, he was sure Natasha would be close to impossible to find right now, when their faces were on every kind of alert in over one hundred countries. She was that good at what she does. And this thought scared Steve because then there was a possibility that he'd never see her again. Unless she knew he'd been looking for her. But Steve was also clueless on how to make her know that.

"Got any idea how to find her?" Steve asked Bucky.

Bucky thought for a while but then said, "When HYDRA needed me to hunt someone down, I usually had something to begin with. An address, coordinates, something. But I think even if I had those info on her, she'd still be impossible to find. I think you know that, too, Steve."

Steve nods in defeat.

"I'm afraid you'd only find her when she finally wants to be found, pal," Bucky admitted. "All you can do right now is to trust her."

Steve manages a smile and said, "I do, Buck, with my life."

Steve tried to distract himself with other things in Wakanda. He, Sam, and Wanda would soon have to leave. They couldn't overstay their welcome in the kingdom and put everyone at risk. They needed to leave so they could come back again. Bucky would stay of course, but didn't need to go back in his cryo again, much to Steve's relief. Instead, Bucky would try to assimilate back into the world and Steve was thankful to T'Challa for letting his friend do that in Wakanda.

Three days before they leave, Shuri, Sam, and Bucky worked on the quinjet, making sure it was fit for flight, while Steve and Wanda, with Okoye's help, took care of their other provisions. Soon enough they have crates and boxes of food and supplies ready for loading.

But that night, as Steve tried to sleep, his phone rang. He was so surprised to hear the ringing that he just stared at the phone on his night stand, unsure if it was really ringing or he was just hearing things. Then, finally coming to his senses, he snatched the phone and flipped it open without bothering to check who it was.

"Hello?" Steve greeted, nervously.

But there was only silence which made Steve even more nervous. He removed the phone from his ear and looked at the caller ID. _Natasha_.

His heart raced. He slipped out of the covers and sat by the edge of the bed as he intently listened to the other end of the call. The ID said Natasha but the phone could be compromised so Steve stayed silent too.

"Hello?" Steve repeated, cautiously.

Then after a few beats Steve heard someone that made him cry in relief. Finally.

"Hey," Natasha greeted back.


	2. Chapter 2

The next morning, Steve immediately prepared to leave. Alone. He talked to Sam and Wanda and asked them to stay put for a while as he went to see Natasha. Natasha didn't say much over the phone. They just agreed to meet in person.

"I can't let you go on your own, Steve," Sam objected. "It could be a trap."

"No," Steve said firmly.

"It's possible Ross didn't give her a choice," Sam continued. "He could have threatened to bring in Clint if she didn't comply."

"No," Steve said again.

"Are you sure?" Bucky asked, calmly.

"Yes," Steve said, confidently.

"Why?" Okoye asked.

It was Wanda who answered, "Because Nat would rather give herself up to spare anyone else."

Steve looked at Wanda and smiled. It was nice that she seemed to know Natasha well by now.

"I promise, I'll be fine. _We'll_ be fine," Steve said. "I'll check in with you, don't worry."

Minutes later, the quinjet darted through and out of Wakanda airspace.

Hours later, Steve found himself roaming the streets of a country somewhere in Northern Europe. The coordinates Natasha gave led him to a quaint town near a sea. She also gave him coordinates where he can safely 'park' the quinjet. Then Steve used the electronic bike in the jet to get to their meeting place. The address he had was a 5-storey hotel with a cafe at the ground floor. It has several tables and chairs outside for some al fresco dining. Steve sat at a corner table and ordered coffee from a nice old lady in a cute apron. When she returned, she had his coffee in a to-go cup. Steve looked at her confused

"Enjoy your coffee with a nice view at the rooftop, honey," the old lady said with a knowing but warm smile.

Steve, familiar with Natasha's methods, simply nodded in understanding and smiled with thanks before entering the hotel. After a couple of minutes he opened the access door to the deck and stepped outside, but stopped in his tracks to see the person sitting on the ledge. Her hair is different.

"Hi," Natasha greeted him with a smile, which turned into a chuckle when she saw the surprise and question on his face.

"The news said there was a red-head outlaw on the loose, so…," Natasha joked and Steve finally recovered with a soft laugh.

He wanted to run and hug her but he decided to test the waters first. There were a lot of unsaid things between them before they parted ways a year ago and Steve didn't want to ruin their reunion just because he said or asked the wrong things. So he just walked to her and join her at the edge of the deck. He put down his coffee and leaned on the ledge. He peered down and found the height enough to kill a man. Natasha was dangling her legs inside the ledge, much to his relief. He finally looked back at Natasha, who gestured to her chin, silently referring to his beard.

"Oh, just trying something new," Steve lied.

Natasha smiled and said, "I like it."

"Thanks. I like that, too," Steve said and pointed at her hair.

"No, you don't," Natasha said with a smirk.

"No, I don't," Steve said immediately and they both laughed. Finally, Steve relaxed but still unsure what to say. Natasha seemed to have picked up on it and Steve was grateful that she kept the conversation going.

"Thanks for coming. A part of me thought you'd wouldn't," Natasha admitted.

"Why would you think that?"

Natasha just shrugged her shoulders and looked at the horizon. Steve followed her gaze and found a mesmerizing picture of the sun setting, giving off a glow that turned the sky in a beautiful blend of purple, pink, and orange. He tried his best to commit it to memory so he can try and draw it later. He looked back at Natasha. There was some distance between them and Steve wished he could close that. He didn't want to simply go back to how they were, no, he wanted to move forward with his feelings for her.

"How's Sam and Wanda?" Natasha

"They're okay," Steve said with a smile. "A bit grumpy sometimes, which is understandable given their circumstances, but otherwise, okay."

Natasha laughed. It sounded so true that Steve felt his heart fluttered inside his chest.

"Have you talked to Clint?" Steve continued.

"Yeah. We talked twice in the past year. I never heard somehow so happy to be in house arrest," Natasha said with a laugh again.

"Tony?"

Natasha's laugh stopped but kept a smile on her face, "He's fine, last thing I heard was him and Pepper moved upstate for a while, away from everything."

Steve sighed. He probably would have teared up too if he wasn't keeping his emotions in check.

"I'm really sorry, Nat, I just -," Steve started but stopped when Natasha jumped down from the ledge and walked to him. She stopped right in front of him, no more than a foot away. He gravitated to her eyes.

"Steve, there's nothing to apologize for. I'm not sorry about my stand on the accords. But -_-I am sorry_ that I disappointed you."

Steve shook his head. Their gaze met and his heart started pounding in his ears. "You didn't, Nat."

He smiled to ease up Natasha who was now at the brink of tears. He immediately reached up to her face and brushed away a tear before it rolled down her cheeks. He felt a very nice shiver when Natasha held his hand in place and leaned on in his touch. Steve took advantage and brushed her cheek with his thumb. She didn't let go of his hand and held it on her lap where she started to fiddle with his fingers. Steve couldn't be any happier. He was a few steps closer to hugging her. He just had to make sure he played this right.

"So, how's Wakanda?" Natasha asked with a coy smile that surprised Steve for a second._ Of course she knew._

He just chuckled and said, "Amazing. T'Challa couldn't be more gracious. It's hot, though. How about you, what have you been up to?"

"Oh, nothing," Natasha said. "Tried doing the right thing, you know, just like you."

"And?"

Natasha looked down and focused on their hands. It took her a few seconds before answering, "Fought bad guys, blew up some Russian gulag, jumped from a helicopter, you know, the usual."

Natasha was smiling but Steve knew from her tone and how she avoided his eyes, that she didn't want to talk about it. So no matter how intrigued he was about the things she said, Steve didn't probe. He just smiled and nodded in amusement as Natasha continued to draw circles on his palm. He looked at her, no, he stared at her and pretty soon Natasha felt it. She looked back with a fond smile on her face.

"Do you have to leave soon?" Natasha asked softly. There was vulnerability in her voice that startled Steve a bit.

"No, not really," Steve replied.

"Good," Natasha said, now in a happier tone. "I hope you don't mind, I already ordered dinner."

Steve laughed as Natasha half-dragged him back into the building. Natasha led him to her room at the fourth floor. The hotel wasn't really big and a 3-star at best so Steve wasn't surprised to see the room simple. All Natasha had with her was a backpack and a duffel bag that were sitting by the foot of the bed. She took out some clothes and went for the bathroom door.

"I'm just going to take a shower. Keep an eye for room service," Natasha said quickly before disappearing into the bathroom.

Steve relaxed by the couch and turned the TV on. He thought of sending Sam a message but decided against it. Minutes later, Steve was ushering the hotel staff and two trolleys of food into the room. Steve noticed the question at the staff's face at the amount of food he just rolled in.

"I have a big appetite," Steve just said and handed the staff his tip.

After the staff left, Steve opened the trays and chuckled. They were all his favorite. He was putting the food on a small round table near the window when Natasha finally emerged from the bathroom, fully refreshed.

"Thanks," Steve said and pointed at the food.

Natasha sat down and said in a teasing smile, "Don't I know how to please you or what?"

"You have no idea," Steve teased back and sat down.

Their conversation during dinner was more relaxed. Natasha laughed out loud when Steve told her that Sam kept watching movies with fugitive characters hoping to pick up a trick or two. He also snitched on Wanda who secretly started journaling.

"Leave her alone, Steve," Natasha said. "The kid has been through a lot."

"I know," Steve agreed.

"How's James?" Natasha asked. "I mean, Barnes."

"Bucky?"

"I'm not calling him that. That's a silly name," Natasha joked.

Steve laughed and said, "He's doing great. Shuri finally removed the trigger words."

Natasha smiled from ear to ear, pleased. "One less thing to worry about."

Steve laughed. It had only been hours since he was reunited with Natasha and yet he has laughed more in those hours than in the last months combined. He wished they could just remain holed up in that hotel room, talking and laughing.

By eleven, sleep crept in. Being the gentleman that he was, Steve settled on the couch. Steve wasn't getting much sleep the past months. His senses were heightened almost all the time, even more so at night, especially when they were tucked away in some abandoned warehouse or forest. Of course all of the quinjet's security protocols were up and running but paranoia always chased his sleep away. And tonight wasn't any possibility of Ross' men suddenly kicking the door down wasn't the only thing keeping him awake. He was dreading the morning. He didn't know what Natasha's plans were and to make things worse, he didn't have one too. For all he knew, he might wake up tomorrow to find the bed already empty.

This thought gripped Steve with panic. He sat up and looked at Natasha's sleeping figure on the bed. Only, she wasn't asleep either. Steve could hear her breathing. He debated with himself. This seemed to be his only chance. He couldn't let morning come without telling her how much he cared for her.

Steve finally stood up and walked to the bed. He lifted the covers and gently slipped underneath, not wanting to startle her. As he was settling down, Natasha turned to her side. Steve laid on his side too and they were face to face. Steve mustered all his courage to look her in the eye.

"What took you so long?" Natasha whispered, teasing him.

Steve reached for her hand and held it in the space between them. With her other hand, Natasha reached for his beard and started stroking it, giggling a bit with its feel on her skin. Steve smiled and relaxed.

"I'm so happy you called," Steve whispered.

"Sorry it took a while," Nat replied. "Couldn't get my mail earlier."

Steve chuckled. Natasha moved her hand to his head near his temple and started brushing his hair back, giving him a light massage along the way.

"Not sleeping much, huh?"

Steve nodded and said, "Terribly missing you."

Natasha smiled and Steve was proud to make her blush too.

"Come here," Natasha whispered.

Steve scooted close to her and immediately buried his face in her chest. He could feel her lips and breath on his forehead. He wrapped his arms around her waist. He felt Natasha's arm wrap around him too, while the other cradled the back of his head, gently carding his hair up and down. He pulled her close to him, desperately removing whatever space, distance that separated them.

"It's okay, I'm here," Natasha whispered in his ear and tightened her hold on him.

"Be with me," Steve whispered back, his lips lightly brushing against the skin on her neck.

"I thought you'd never, ask," Natasha said.

Steve felt her smile on his forehead followed by a gentle, lingering kiss.

Now Steve couldn't wait for morning to come because no matter what tomorrow and the days ahead had in store for them, he knew he would be okay. Natasha was with him again. She was her rock and he instantly felt safer, stronger, braver.

Thanks for reading!


End file.
